And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
