this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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