areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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