He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
