Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
