If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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