I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
