his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
