you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
