So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
