Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
