running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
