I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
