Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
