Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
