p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize