it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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