So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So vagazzling was a success
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
