The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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