the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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