this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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