the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
