Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
