On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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