Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
