i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
