It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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