I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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