He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
