S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize