she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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