I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
