i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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