he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
