I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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