so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is Oprah even human
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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