I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
