lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
