Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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