How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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