garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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