he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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