This is not my ceiling
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
