my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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