Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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