these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
