Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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