I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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