If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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