sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize