So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is the high leading the old right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
