dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
