well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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