Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
