if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
