Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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