but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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