I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
