i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
