did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
